Saturday, August 27, 2011

Reality scares me.

Reality let me more and more clear-headed, and know more about myself. Had my monthly test few weeks ago and I got the suckest result ever. I know I'm the laziest among my friends, I'm lazy to study, lazy to revision, lazy to do my homework ,lazy to do everything that I bloody unlike. I choose the wrong way, and now I'm blaming myself, blame about laziness ,blame about myself can't hold a constant interest in anything always work in fits and starts(go  fishing for 3days and then dry the net for 2days - proverb in Chinese). When see someone passed with flying colours, they make me felt distressing. Of course, I kept the real me under the mask, feel nothing to everyone forced myself to smile. Everyday wearing a mask. I'm not as skilled as others... I have had enough myself. The more I thought of it, the sadder I felt. So fed up...

I knew, no one could help me and I'm the only person to help myself. And the worst thing is I can't understood what teachers are teaching, and can't catch up the syllabus too.I hold back my tears when I'm tuition account I had no idea what teacher is teaching. I'm totally failed ! Perhaps I'm not suitable to study it's not better than expected. I'm so suffering... So I'm decided to do something for my Pra-university life. I'm not a unhappy person I'm just tired of the same routine and people and the bullshit they bring. Wish me good luck.

Thanks for viewing~CiaoCiao~

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